Ok I Started My Sci-fi Book And I Need All Of Your Opinions! Please?

“Enough!” said Sophia as she slammed her fist on the table.
“What’s the matter?” said Mickael and Jordin as they were stuffing their faces with delicious scraps of tuna.Ok I Started My Sci-fi Book And I Need All Of Your Opinions! Please?
“The “matter” is that we’ve been hiding here since October 29th, 2084, when we were 8 years old, and the only time we’ve been outside is when we searched for food.”
“Your point?” asked Mickael
“The point is that, I want to be able to go outside with out worrying if I’ll get captured and sent away to Tcheco with other human’s.”
“Look Sophia, we know you want to be free again. Even me and Mickael think of it sometimes, but let’s face it, by the way things are going, we’ll be the only humans on the planet!” said Jordin.
“I know and that’s what upsets me the most, compared to other humans we’re living in luxury.”
“You call this old, smelly cave luxury?” asked Jordin.
“Well maybe for us it’s not as luxurious as a spa, but to what my Mom and Dad are facing in Tcheco, this is heaven. Do you understand what I’m trying to say Jordin?”
“Yes…but don’t forget our parents either!”
“Don’t worry I won’t, but all this anger, sadness and frustration makes me wanting to take action and save my parents…and yours” said Sophia while putting a smile on Jordin’s face.
“I’m hungry!” whined Mickael while sitting in a corner whimpering.
“Well, if you’re that hungry let’s go find some more food.”
“Ok”
“Good-Bye boys and hurry back safe and sound.”
“We’ll try not to disappoint” said Mickael.
Sophia watched the boys slowly climb out of the cave looking out to see if there were any Gondors. After looking everywhere they could, they leaped out and swung on a vine and leaped to the ground. Sophia saw them running to the old Smith mansion which had been burned to the ground in 2084.
The Smith family was the richest in all of Ottawa. They were prepared for any nature disasters. They stocked in lots of water, food, blankets, beds you name it. That is the reason Mickael and Jordin went to get food there. The house was burnt but the food was locked in a titanium safe which had not been burned.
For many years the boys tried to solve a way to open it and finally they did only using a gun. But after so many years in hiding, eventually you run out of food or the food turns bad or the bugs get to it before they did. But that didn’t matter, as long as they had each other thought Sophia. She still remembers the day her parents announced they were getting a divorce.
It was September 11th, 2080, she was 4 years old. Her Dad, Hunter, was 34 and her Mom, Jane, was 30 when they told her about the separation. She thought she was the blame, but he mother told her it was because her Dad owed a lot of money to a company, so in order to save his family from getting hurt, he had to get a divorce. She tried to escape of that memory but somehow, it just kept coming back.
As she waited for Mickael and Jordin to return she sat on her wooden chair she had kept all these years. She wanted to go outside so badly but had a feeling something bad would happen. Having that feeling, she poked her head out of the cave and saw Mickael and Jordin running back. She was about to scream their names, when she was the hideous creatures called the Gondors.
She immediately took action and started packing. She took a couple of t-shirts, food and water. She put it all in her bag that she got for her seventh birthday. She left a note with a coded message telling them if they ever got away, to meet her in Pennsylvania. Sophia hated that place along with Mickael and Jordin, but even the Gondors knew that one information. They could find any information that they needed with their own gadget called The Arrival. The Arrival was a little remote control, not for television but for human brains. It detects if there are any humans left at certain places. If that piece of machine was destroyed, the humans could be at peace again.